I challenge a group of writers who have a chronic illness and chronic pain to write a letter to family and friends to explain their illness. But slow to finish my letter, in part because "I will tomorrow" seems to be a part of my life now and partly because not always understand what is going on in my mind and the body itself.
Things were so different. I used to be an active part of my community. It was then that I sorely neglected old friends and family, so that the working years are not part of you know me. But those years were real, and I miss them terribly sometimes.
Once I was regional director of a home party plan. I have some videos to remind me how stupid I acted within my workout to motivate my sales reps. In my last year with the house Lloyd, who was the guest of honor in all aspects of the sale in my area and spoke to some of them. I presented my karaoke VRP in our latest annual sales recognition banquet. I have video proof that I strutted around the edge of the room, "It's My Party and I'll sing if I want," while trying to encourage others to stand up and sing.
I helped to create and organize a club lead sales which met for breakfast every Tuesday morning. Urged other leaders to direct sales meet monthly to share ideas. I work with local chambers of commerce to have a membership at a reduced price for those of us who were independent contractors for these sales organizations then offered two local chambers to help increase membership.
I was involved in children's ministry, not only in my own church, but also in the wider community. I helped to create and organize a group of workers and volunteers from the Department of churches of all denominations in our county who met monthly to exchange ideas and resources for children.
In my own church, I was director of the Sunday school teacher, Sunday school, children's ministry coordinator, director of Vacation Bible School, and the Director of Christian Education and Deputy Director of the children's choir.
I wrote a Bible school holiday program for adults per year to correspond with the lessons that we choose for our children. I was also a Sunday school for adults, I helped organize a Bible study group of women helped make the weekend Lay testimony of our church, he served as president of a group of women in our church and I was only active in local Christian women.
I became a certified lay preacher in the United Methodist Church. Being certified means that I could speak in churches that are not only mine. And I! I had the opportunity to speak to the seven churches in Florida and Texas during regular services. I was asked to read Scripture in church for months because "my speaking voice was so clear and obviously loved reading the word of God with a loud voice," and I noticed children sermons about three dozen times.
In Florida, she was active in our local home education group. I volunteered at the umbrella of the school at least weekly. Helped new families home school "to learn the ropes." I was a test monitor during performance tests and tours.
I made and sold crafts at craft shows throughout Florida, and published and sold a monthly newsletter to be frugal (not cheap!). At its peak, the newsletter had only 50 regular subscribers, but usually sells 200 copies when I went to craft shows.
My writings have appeared around the Internet - on sites of Christian women, schools of home sites, craft sites to write.
But that was then and this is now, and something happened in the meantime. I used to play hopscotch with the girls in our apartment complex in Texas. Now I have the same trouble getting out of bed most of the time.
Fibromyalgia is my constant companion now, chronic that even most doctors do not understand and many do not recognize it as something to take seriously disease.
As I searched the Internet for sites that explain the symptoms and consequences of fibromyalgia, I came across a site in the United Kingdom. The homepage includes this quote:
"Here is a sample test you can do yourself. With the thumb and four fingers, reach across your chest and tighten firmly the upper back part of your shoulder muscle at the base of your neck. Tighten modestly but until it hurts ... and then tighten a little more. maintain this pressure. Consider now live with this feeling, not only in his shoulder, but throughout your body, day after day, year after year. Whether you are able to do so, you have a little understanding of the quality of life of a person who should bear the symptoms of fibromyalgia. "
Of http://www.ukfibromyalgia.com
This is what partly explains the pain that I deal with every day, but not quite. Fibromyalgia pain can be throbbing or pulsating. The pain may be on one side and now on the other side of tomorrow. Sometimes I feel numb. Sometimes I feel as if my legs are burning. Sometimes just being in my skin is uncomfortable. Be touched can be downright painful! Terribly painful.
Having fibromyalgia is like having the flu - all the time! Every muscle in your body screams in pain and feel energized, as if someone unplugged the power supply.
Chronic fatigue is often associated with fibromyalgia and sleep disorders, irritable colon, chronic headaches. Other symptoms include depression, chest pain, morning stiffness, cognitive or memory impairment, numbness and tingling, muscle twitching, irritable bladder, the feeling of swollen extremities, sensitivities skin, dry eyes and mouth, dizziness and loss of coordination may occur. Patients are often sensitive to odors, noises, bright lights, and sometimes even drugs that are prescribed.
Although I did not experience these symptoms every day, have each of them sometimes. I never know what the symptoms appear. As a sufferer of fibromyalgia, it is for me to know that some things can trigger pain or responses. But even that is not foolproof. There are many contributing factors, including changes in weather, cold environments or drafts, infections, allergies, hormonal fluctuations, stress, anxiety and excessive exercise. Any of these can contribute to the symptoms and asthma attacks.
How I went from being an active part of society to one that will be faster in the bed? This is an excellent question and one that the investigation is still being discovered.
For me, it probably started with injuries - my first back injury in 1997, after the car accident in 2000 that really did experience whiplash and finally in 2003, when I injured knee. Trauma and stress seem to be one of the triggers of fibromyalgia. But they are not responsible. According to the network fibromyalgia, these triggers "can awaken a physiological abnormality underlying that is already present."
It could be that the control treatments of pain that I received for my back injury caused something. The blows I received - a combination of steroids and cortisone - my system horribly affected. My skin thins permanently, so that my hands look like they belong to a 80 year old woman rather than someone in his early 50s! Only fiving can cause bruising and bleeding.
Or maybe that exposure to latex - and unknowingly be allergic or intolerant to it - could be my trigger. I worked at the newspaper for Anthrax panic, and just ten minutes to use latex gloves to open the e-mail writing makes each of my fingers bleed. My hands have not been the same since!
Cardiac catheterization and has undergone numerous tests for digestive disorders, were probably not necessary. Any muscle can spasm with fibromyalgia, so my chest pains and stomach pains are probably nothing, but my fibro react differently. But who knows?
Having a doctor who recognizes fibromyalgia as a true chronic disease and support. But specialists are often unaware that the symptoms could be related to fibromyalgia. It really depends on the patients become more informed. And it is a difficult task when you are in pain or feeling so tired that you just want to be the next Rip Van Winkle and wake up when a cure is found or something wonderful for the treatment of compatible symptoms.
The rash on the hands and feet seems to be the only disease I have that can not be attributed to fibromyalgia. In other words, if it is properly diagnosed. Before the rash appeared there was only pain, and doctors considered carprel tunnel and arthritis. Once the rash appeared, the diagnosis was palmamlantar pustulosis. It is a viral skin disease that appears on the hands and feet that has no cure. God thank you, really only comes when my fibromyalgia symptoms seem to be under control.
What I want or need from you? Not much, actually. Just love and try to understand that when I say I can not do something, I really can not. The fact that I did something yesterday does not mean that you can do today. And today the release of an activity does not mean that I will try again tomorrow.
Try to understand that sometimes the pain is so bad you have to resort to taking a medication against the pain that I can leave in a stupor day. And sometimes I have a stomach ache so bad that all I can eat is yogurt or cottage cheese. I just remember that I do not mind eating something bland, while eating something spicy. I mean, if I was able to get out of bed first. Or if I'm not a total "space cadet" of what they call "fibro fog."
Last year, I was still able to work for about six weeks. I did not last long, as I stand on my feet made my malfunction of the sacroiliac joint. But while the Social Security Administration has recognized that I have these many diseases, but also continue to believe that I can work. And I tried to do.
I miss the old me, but that does not mean I'm ready to give up on life. Of course not. I'm just trying to get used to living in a new way. Daily.
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